Time passing or passing time

I was thinking the other day that i have been lacking in deep emotional events that incline me to write my thoughts down on this blog. In Sri Lanka, there was such a cornucopia of sights, sounds and wonder that i constantly wanted to share them with people. Since being here in Australia, it would seem that i am less inspired by life, less observant even, of things that shape and form my thoughts and feelings. Perhaps its just that i have such a hectic social schedule that i hardly have the time to think deep thoughts. Perhaps, its just laziness.

However, i did want to write about my time with my grandma in Japan. This August, i was in Japan visiting relatives i hadnt seen in more than seven years, and to even meet a cousin (the youngest of the clan) whom i hadnt met yet and she had almost turned 10!! My mum and her sisters (and brother) were all together with their mum for the first time in a long time and it was so lovely to see them together, enjoying their family time together. My grandma has turned 90 and has only recently lost her memory; though she was unable to remember anyone, she never seemed worried about that fact. It felt like she knew somewhere inside she was safe with people who loved her and would take care of her. It was, sometimes, disconcerting how polite she was to everybody, calling me miss or asking where the bathroom was. But she was in perfect health and she did have moments of clarity; she'd know somehow that i was her grandchild.

Seeing my mum taking care of her mum almost made me feel like i experienced time travel for a few seconds. I suddenly saw myself with my mum when she, one day (hopefully), reaches that age. I had a tremendously keen sense of my own mortality. But not in a morbid or depressing way, just a sort of fleeting sense of how life is truly a cycle. I have a feeling i have talked about the cycle of life before so i wont delve into it again, but i saw with older eyes how we one day become our parents and how inexorable the process of life is. It made me humble. But i was happy, happy to hold my grandma's now delicate hand, and to hug my mum and dad and all of my cousins and aunties and uncles. And remind myself to continue to do that as many times and for as long as i can :)